TheSunChildren

Aww thank you :) means a lot that you'd take time to give this a look! I should really stop doubting my ability to write i suppose haha. I've sorted ...

Hey there! Thanks for your comments, I feel humbled by the support ive got from this, as I seriously began to doubt my own writing, so everyone%u2019s kind words have ...

Heya :) ok first of all yeah its younger haha, i have changed it on the saved version since. Sahfire was given the crown by the Sun Vault Guardians who ...

Hi! thank you :) wow it has been a long time since i posted this! i appreciate your comments though! :) i could improve this now if i tried :D

Ok, thank you both, your time is appreciated! I have moved the entire first section into a prologue (i had made one without actually realising?!) And so i will work ...

Hi, thanks for the review first of all. I can understand your points about too much external description and adverse dialogue, these are things brought up regularly. I think they ...

hey! thanks for reviewing this, i wasn't really expecting anyone to really look at it, so this comes as a surprise. it is a VERY rough piece of work as ...

hello! thanks, i enjoyed reading this review, its given me a few ideas ;) i'm glad you like the characters, that was something i was worried about. it may be ...

Hi Rubric, thanks for the review, i can see what you mean from the points you made. some of my biggest weaknesses is clarity and consistency (also in my schoolwork) ...

there, edited, just as a pointer, the real explanation of Sharlon's death comes in the last penultimate chapter which sees other mysteries pulled into one answer, also the army Sharlon ...

oh now thats clever! didn't see that method and its staring me right in the (expletive) face duh! ok, when i get time ima try this, just need to find ...

Hey, thanks a lot it is appreciated! i often get mixed views on the prologue, if i make it too long i add too much info and it gets confusing, ...

Hey, thanks for the feedback. i can understand where you're coming from. one of my many problems is that i am going way beyond the parameters a normal wtirer would ...

wooah thanks! helpful indeed. it sounds so good for someone to be analysing the characters, no one has ever done that for me. to be fair i was too surprised ...

Ahh thanks, thats given me a heads up on what to do, in the mean time ive removed the confusing intro and gone straight into the thick of, see where ...