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Re: Dead (Climbing Rhyme)
Timmy here for a review!! Nitpicks first! I am sorry... I have no idea what is going on here... What is a climbing rhyme? I see some parts where it ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: Aren't you afraid of the silence?
Timmy here for another review!! (Since I am so behind... It might be a while before I am caught up. :P) Nitpicks that bubbles with memories that simmer and stir. ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: The Mad, Made-up Milking Maids (Part 1) [Twelve Days Before Christmas] *Edited*
Timmy here for another revieewwww... Nitpicks “But no boys are allowed in here, it’ll spoil the milk!” ---Two sentences? She leaned forwards, pushing Maria back slightly and latched on to ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: In the Beginning (Part 0) [Twelve Days Before Christmas] *Edited*
Timmy here for another review! Nitpicks Santa sighed; frustrated that his wife didn’t understand why he refused her. ---New paragraph started with that sentence? “D’you have a key Mrs. Claus?”
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: Eyes Wide Shut 2.3 (Edited)
Timmy here for a reviewwwwwwwwwww Nitpickssss “Naomi,” I wailed, wading my way towards her as fast as I could manage. --I think cut out the "wailed" and make it: I ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: Eyes Wide Shut 2.2 (Edited)
Timmy here for a review! Nitpicks first! I looked just like her, with a darker shade of her hair. No wonder she made millions with her television show. I think ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: Eyes Wide Shut 2.1 (Edited)
Timmy here for a review!! Nitpicks First! After the excitement of the take-off , Naomi instantly fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. ---Bolded comma is probably required. Glancing ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: The Cobra's Cage: Part 0.5
Timmy is here for a review! Nitpicks Like fire, the pain blistered across my skull. Fire. Fireworks. Now this is a nitpick... So tiny, that its probably nothing. And yet ...
Apr 27, 2014 -
Re: Addiction
Timmy here for a quick review!! So your brother wrote this? Okay, so I will make this a nice review then. I know how you like hard critique... so I ...
Apr 25, 2014 -
Re: Isn't it beautiful? (spoken)
Timmy here for a review! Wow. We are very much different, you and I. I get sick the moment I step on a plane. Bleh. No plan trips for me, ...
Apr 25, 2014 -
Re: Escape From Rainbowland Chapter 1
Timmy here for a review! Ok, this was really neat. It seemed like an introduction to me. Telling the story from an omniscient--I think that is the right word--point of ...
Apr 24, 2014 -
Re: Change is Unwanted
Timmy here for a review!! So, as always, Nitpicks first!! Change is unwanted, unwelcomed, in my world. Soooo... on this poem, this is the line that you want to stick ...
Apr 24, 2014 -
Re: Days of Future Pryde: Chapter Three
Timmy here for a review!! I don't like this Kate. Nope. Why?? This: So this is how liberty dies. To thunderous applause.” Star Wars, the third episode. Not my favorite, ...
Apr 23, 2014 -
Re: Elementárni ~ 1.2 *adjusted*
Timmy is here for a review! So, as always, Nitpicks first! The woman smiled to herself as she slid the gun deeper in her bullet-proof bag. Her lips curved upwards ...
Apr 23, 2014 -
Re: Days of Future Pryde: Chapter Two
Timmy comes. Kitty beckoned. To tell you the truth, this was a strange chapter from a Kitty point of view. She was so adult. So controlled. And, at the same ...
Apr 22, 2014