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Vita

Vita

  • Short Story » General, General Re: Agreements signed in tearstained ink and broken hands

    This is really good and I really really enjoyed it. I'm really glad that you portrayed a non-romantic friendship between a man and a woman, that's rare in writing and ...

    Jun 29, 2021
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: That Old Dream 1.2

    Hi there! Another great and funny chapter. You definitely still have my attention. Their were a few things that could have been worded more clearly, and I've put my suggestions ...

    Mar 13, 2021
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Politics Re: (DRAFT) Miscreants: Inauguration - Prologue

    Oooh, I like this! A well written adventure story with a strong female lead? Sign me up. I found some spots that could be worded more clearly and succinctly, but ...

    Mar 1, 2021
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: That Old Dream 1.1

    Hi! Let me just say that I love this! Della is so funny and snarky, exactly the kind of character I love. This was super fun to read. For the ...

    Mar 1, 2021
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The moon’s fault: chapter 2

    Hi! I saw this in the green room and went back to the first chapter to read the whole thing. I really like your concept. Like Plume said, it definitely ...

    Feb 27, 2021
  • Art » Horror, Mystery / Suspense Re: The Distorted Dream : Chapter 1 [Revised]

    Hello! Vita here with a review, as requested. I saw a huge improvement in your writing this chapter. You fixed most, but not all, of the grammatical errors, making this ...

    Sep 27, 2020
  • Art » Horror, Mystery / Suspense Re: The Distorted Dream : Chapter 1

    Hello there! You're somewhat new, so welcome to YWS! You definitely have a suspenseful and creepy story here! Those murders sounded pretty gruesome. To be honest, I would have liked ...

    Sep 24, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Supernatural Re: You Get the Horns - Prologue (TW: implied attempted suicide)

    Hi! I'm Vita, and I'll be reviewing your prologue. Okay, so I can see a lot of potential in this. First of all, I like your premise. A teenager/young adult ...

    Aug 26, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Rosemallow Princess: Chapter 4

    Another good chapter! You moved the plot along quite a bit, but still kept the pacing consistent! good job! A few small nitpicks in terms of wording: "The Rosemallow sun ...

    Jul 5, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Supernatural Re: Straddling the Grave [Chapter 1.2]

    Hey there, Vita here for another review. We learn a bit more about your main character's personality in this chapter, and so far, I like what I see. Your main ...

    Jul 2, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Supernatural Re: Straddling the Grave [Chapter 1.1]

    Hi! first of all, let me just say, i LOVE your descriptions. I'm a total sucker for figurative language, and this chapter was great for that! They're unique and vivid, ...

    Jun 30, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Rosemallow Princess: Chapter 3

    Hello! I've read the other two chapters, and I must say, I'm impressed. You've built a world and characters that are very compelling. With so many dark themes in books ...

    Jun 16, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Plight of Dying Gods: A Prelude

    I like this! I like the idea of these two very different beings having this connection. They're both far from home, they're both prisoners, and they've both been manipulated fro ...

    May 31, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » General, Science Fiction Re: ...

    Another interesting chapter! I wonder what exactly caught Wenton's eye about that particular world. Once again, I love your imagery. Especially this part: "They would have been travelling through dark

    May 11, 2020
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Realistic Re: Following The Light-Chapter Two-

    Another interesting chapter! Florence is right, that Christopher guy is definitely perfect for Ms. Pringle. They're both equally horrible! One thing that I would elaborate more on is her relationship ...

    Apr 26, 2020


Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a car game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant tomorrow? And we couldn't wait to grow up.
— Unknown