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Re: Bluesey's Congressman**Edited**
The multiple-personality thing threw me off a bit, but in a good way. I've seen TV shows and movies with this kind of character, but I've never actually read a ...
Dec 14, 2013 -
Re: don't let the sky go dark on me.
"don't let the sky go dark on me..." I really like this opening. It is intriguing and it draws me in. "remember how I showed you colors," This makes me ...
Dec 14, 2013 -
Re: Still falling down the Waterfalls
"It's like" isn't an attention grabbing opening. But I like the waterfall analogy. I only suggest that you use more imagery instead of something so plain as "falling down like ...
Dec 14, 2013 -
Re: My Story.
The first sentence immediately grabbed my attention. Great job. This sentence sounds awkward: "The first time we didn't talk for long because I was in a relationship." This sentence is ...
Dec 11, 2013 -
Re: Our Little Fairytale
1. Jasper I was immediately intrigued my the name Jasper. One of my best friends has the cutest little dog named Jasper. I also thought of the character Jasper from ...
Dec 11, 2013