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ajruby12

ajruby12

  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: Barber Shop Pleasantries

    Hey! ajruby12 here to review! To start off, a very interesting idea! I think it's something a little different than what you may expect in a short story. I noticed ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Mystery / Suspense, Science Fiction Re: of flesh and blood -

    Hey, ajruby12 here! Wow.. This is definitely different from most poems that I've seen.. But a very good job on imagery and putting the reader into your thoughts. The only ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Dramatic Re: Unexpected

    Hey! ajruby12 here to review! Ok, I just have to say first off, wow! I really like this poem! And even though it doesn't directly relate to me, I can ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: P.S. I love you

    Good afternoon/evening! (Welcome to YWS!) I really like your ideas for this! It's creative and very interesting. But.. Some of the section's lines are long, some short, which makes it ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Rain.

    Hey, ajruby12 here... Ok, so the first 10 lines were fine.. But after that, I had a really hard time following all that. My mind started to do loops back ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Winter's end.

    It's very... Interesting.. First off, the first feel has an s on it. But I didn't see any other grammar mistakes. But one thing I'd like to say. This is ...

    Sep 20, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: I Wanted to Say

    Can I just say something right off the start..? This. Was. Amazing!! Really! And it may not be due to the fact that I just read a horrid piece of ...

    Sep 19, 2013
  • Other » General, General Re: Black Tears

    Hey! ajruby12 here to review.. (And welcome!) I noticed a couple spelling errors, such as "You left me strangled in a dark place to deep" Also, the line underneath that, ...

    Sep 19, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Mind over Me

    I am a person who loves rhyming in poetry.. So free verse is a bit of a hardship for me to do. Anyways.. I really like this poem! I like ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: It's funny how sickness seeps into the body

    One main thing.. The phrasing just doesn't seem to fit quite right, in my opinion. But I realize everyone has their own style of writing poetry. Anyway, I like some ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Literature Re: Elegy of Flight: Chapter Three (Bird)

    First off, you have nice word choices, but there are far too many commas (I'm so guilty of too many commas sometimes..) But it makes it a mite bit confusing. ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Other Re: Two Sparrows

    The only thing that confused me was whether or not Shira was the being mentioned in the beginning or not. But I love the word choices! Unfortunately, my vocabulary doesn't ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Other » Realistic, General Re: How Long

    Hey! ajruby12 here to review. I really like how thought provoking and interesting you've made this! I think the word choice is good and the phrasing works well. However.. I'm ...

    Sep 17, 2013
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Amelia Earhart Discovery (rough draft)

    Hey! ajruby12 here to review! :) Good job! The outline of the section obviously needs to be connected and cleaned up.. And I think a few better word choices could ...

    Sep 16, 2013
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction Re: The Mob Boss

    Hey! ajruby12 here to give a review! I really like the idea of a female Mob boss and I like the way you developed the main character. But there are ...

    Sep 15, 2013


If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
— Woodrow Wilson