antigone

I like this. Majestic, like writingluver said. Although I think the 'I remember's add a lot to the rhythm, and keep it from getting too sing-songy. When my heart breaks ...

This is kind of amazingly well written. Here's a few tiny nitpicks I got just reading through it: And the jagged scrawling coating the brick wall, insignias and tags galore. ...

So you asked for a great big critique and I'll try but this is seriously good. It is just you, us, and the low, saturated clouds in all directions. There ...

Sorry to be redundant but I definitely agree about the punctuation, especially since this has kind of a repetitive structure in the first half. (Not that that's bad, but punctuation ...

Yeah, that's just... beautiful. Does the french line mean something like "this is not Paris, my love"? Heh, I don't speak french. But it's very pretty. I liked the middle ...

I love the rhythm/rhyme/repetition thing here. It's continually surprising and different... But in a very good way. Under queen That was especially cool. Sorry, no useful critique, but I love ...

I like how this was short but it still seemed perfectly complete. Really beautiful. 'Lazy rain" and "Rivulets of water smeared with the music of blood" are both really cool ...

Cool. I love the first stanza. The dog's eye is a wonderful image, plus give the world to this tumbling sky. Just loverly. The middle stanza I liked... less. I'm ...

I liked it too, very raw and very good. I agree with Xantham Gum about "just perfect" and "just wrong", the way they contrast with each other and break up ...

That was beautiful, just... wow. The rhyming was, of course, brilliant and I loved the rhythm, it seemed so fast and wild and free. The only thing I might change: ...

Umm... Is it about religion brainwashing people? And knowledge is the power I control And heresy’s a leisurely walk now And who knows if I’m right, I could be wrong ...

First of all, I liked it. It has really good atmosphere, or something. And there is a lot of blood, but it's effective. Kind of chilling. So nice job. But ...

I really like this, especially the first stanza. And then the others are cool cause you switch things around and get new perspectives. It sounds like a hard assignment, and ...

Hmmm.... Minor nitpicks first: I hide my pain from everyone, only my pain ever shows. That line confuses me. It seems to contradict itself. and i'm stil "young" and "Immature." ...

I loved the tone of this, angry and fed up but still loving all at the same time. And your images are convincing and unique. In particular I liked the ...