ashleylee

I agree with Lovablelittlesock: you don't have to try to make this rhyme. I think you are creating a wonderful mental picture with this but you are trying to hard ...

Very interesting! It told a story, which I enjoy reading. I could imagine everything going on in this poem. I can't really find anything wrong with it (which is good!) ...

I agree with the others above. This was a really good poem. It flowed well. You used nice imaginary words with feelings to create a picture. I also agree with ...

Hey, I get to be your first reply! :) So, I think this is a good poem. You have the bad and good sides of this child. It's kind of ...

Very random. Thrown together at a sudden moment. However, I found this kind of interesting. The end part when she ran away with the manikin made me smile. Very funny...but ...

Very spooky! I suggest that you expand so that you can get more descriptive with this "creature beneath the trampoline" Also, I think the ending was equally spooky. How she ...

Of course I enjoyed reading this as I did all the other chapters but I'm disappointed to find the (Will not be continued) sign at the bottom of this. I ...

I think I've actually read part of this before Kels. It sounds SO familiar. When did you start it? I think you had me read this a few years ago. ...

Kels, I really liked this, as I like all your other work. I don't think I've ever read this one and I'll be wanting to read more. The end left ...

I think this is very powerful. A little flat at the end but otherwise, I really enjoyed reading it. It had a power behind it that the reader can feel. ...

Very cute and nasty at the same time! but i truthfully enjoyed reading it. It was such an adorable scene! Nice work!

I think you have a story forming here. You definitly have a nice flow but some of your sentences were too long. Maybe try to cut them in two or ...

Yeah, I thought this was quite interesting and nice to read but maybe have a more gripping beginning. Something that would make the reader want to continue on. That's my ...

Nice work. It was a really interesting idea for a poem. I liked reading and it flowed really well. Great Job!

I liked this poem. I really could feel what the character was feeling. I have just one suggestion: maybe use some description from the outside world. Like describing something other ...