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backgroundbob

  • Short Story » General, General Re: A paragraph in my book that is nagging at me. HELP

    OK - since there's only one paragraph, it's a little hard to judge: context is always useful. But I'll nitpick it as best I can! When a friend tells you ...

    Nov 20, 2005
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Ironic

    I'd have to agree with most of what was said, but there were a couple of lines that I was really impressed with. You don’t run in circles, it doesn’t ...

    Nov 19, 2005
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Kissing Polly

    Rhyming is hard... there are places it sounds a little forced, though I'm quite impressed overall: most of it flows pretty well. 'Moonlighting' is one word. Your subject matter is ...

    Nov 10, 2005
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: The Lord of the Rings/Tolkien's Written Works/His Myth

    If I could just say, that post scared me. Anyway, firstly: I'm a massive fan. I'm a sword and magic fan in a small way, though you won't catch me ...

    Nov 10, 2005
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Jesus Was Gother Than You.

    Ah, I liked this, indeed I did. I was thinking "this will be stupid" when I read the title, and my word, it wasn't. nitpicking time: Jesus’s ass-kissing, self-righteous little ...

    Nov 7, 2005
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Elation

    I am... sigh. I am a cynic. Yes it's a string of excellent images, but unfortunately - it's a string of images. Call me old fashioned and beat me with ...

    Nov 7, 2005
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Robin Hood

    Aye, I'm afraid I'd have to go with awkward: I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think rhyming poetry is only for people who've been doing it ...

    Nov 3, 2005
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Simons Diary

    The idea is good, and where there's a good idea, there's good writing, it just needs a little fine tuning, in my humble opinion: there are some basic problems, I'll ...

    Nov 3, 2005
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Trains in Bowie Return Empty

    It's the old recurring problem with poetry: cliche. No matter how good the imagery, no matter how excellent the language, no matter how stunning the meter: if it's angst, it's ...

    Nov 3, 2005
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Clouds

    Ah, I do like this. One point: capital letters at the beginning of every line? Especially when you've let the last one run on without punctuation, it makes it look ...

    Nov 3, 2005
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: lighting never strikes twice

    It was an interesting poem, this one, but there were a few bits that I wasn't sure about: she left me wondering why she left so soon It doesn't read ...

    Nov 2, 2005


What about the chicken, Jack?
— David Letterman