bubblewrapped

I was going to say I'd join in, but I wasnt sure if I could and then my computer died and it kind of slipped my mind. But I remembered ...

I liked this; in a sense, the unfocused nature of the poem contributes to the feeling you were trying to describe (or rather, contributes to the scene by giving it ...

Aloha Wiggy (may I call you Wiggy?)! I agree with the rest on the line breaks; it reads kind of stilted at the moment, but I'm sure it can be ...

Well, this is bad when viewed on its own, but as a commentary on the communion I suppose it starts to make sense. Which is kind of a bad thing. ...

Lady Grace: I beg your pardon - there must be some mistake. I was calling about the soiree on Monday next, but I believe I have dialled the wrong number. ...

You always have the capacity to surprise me, Incan :wink: I think that's what I like best about your poems: you can tell they're yours, but they never get boring ...

This is really ... um, short. LOL. I like the rhythm, but it seemed kind of...well, like there was nothing to it, I guess. Perhaps you could work on developing ...

Lillizard! Much as I like you, I must be blunt: the rhyming in this poem drives me crazy! As BFG says, it is very forced, and there's nothing like forced ...

Hello again! A few things here: 1. Layout. I would recommend that you put this into some kind of poetic structure (any kind of structure, actually) because as it is ...

Hey there! We meet again (I think?). Hope you've been enjoying your time on YWS so far :) Overall, this poem really didnt work for me. Your images were cliche ...

Hm. Not up to your usual standards, xantham gum. It seems rather...predictable. You might want to vary things a bit IMHO! You come to me in search of passion. I ...

I think Character Death's should be handled with extreme subtlety. They should definitely be built up to from the beginning, but at the same time, it shouldnt be in a ...

Hello, welcome to YWS. Love the username! I hope you're enjoying the site so far :D I'm going to get straight into the crit(ique) here OK? Because I'm really not ...

Hah! I'm one of those little dots on NZ way over in the bottom right "corner"

The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins. Standard Gothic plot but great writing and awesome characterization. Funfun!