chocoholic

Hey! Sorry it took so long to get around to this. But I'm here and critiquing now. I really liked this piece. The topic of love, not so much, but ...

Very, very nice. Can't find anything to comment on apart from the doctor scene. It felt rushed, and I didn't like it. She fainted. At the hospital the doctors had ...

I really, really liked this. Especially about the beginning. The atmosphere you created was very peacful, but there felt like there was a little tension in there as well. Your ...

I didn't really like it. You were supposed to be writing a journal, but it read more like a story. A poorly written story. There are a lot of mistakes, ...

Okay, I'm assuming you've abandoned this piece, seeing as it's so old, but I'm going to critique it anyway. There is a billboard on the edge of town. It is ...

Yay! It's up! Sorry I didn't get around to it straight away. My laptop is dead and I'm using my dad's, but I haven't been able to get on until ...

Perfect! I'm a new reader, and I just copied it into a word document. I'll edit as I read, and then answer the questions at the bottom. who's should be ...

I liked it. I think I read your ther one, but I'm not sure. I couldn't catch any mistakes, and overall it's a very good piece. I was a little ...

Yay! More! Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner, school and stuff... Anyway, I liked this bit. The first part really just explained to us what was happening, this ...

Very nice. Is school really like this for some people? Wow! Fights at my school ae really just girls screaming at each other so this is... wow! I noticed that ...

Hi I really liked this. Your writing tyle is very good. The only things that I can really comment on are your lack of descriptions and the abrupt 'I have ...

What was the point of this? Nothing happened. It was just a girl writing in her diary in a completely neutral tone. I couldn't even tell if she wa angry, ...

That was really sweet. I loved how you formatted it. We use to curl up on the couch and watch blues clues until the streetlights came on. He use to ...

That was really sweet! I couldn't find any mistakes, I just think that you should spend a bit more time on your charaters. They seemed a bit inconsistent to me, ...

I think this was sweet, but it didn't flow very well. I think it would be better as a short story, or maybe a letter. I liked the last line, ...