dommy65

Aw, this was so sad! :cry: I was a little bit confused about the part with Isaac in a trance, but I got it afterwords... just a little slow today ...

Hey, kenni! This was all right. You kind of abandoned the original plot and it got a little confusing. Here's some of the little mistakes i found. “Honestly you’re not ...

Very interesting. I liked it a lot. I liked how your mc was bargaining with Death in the beginning and how she was making sarcastic remarks even while she was ...

Aw man! This was so great! I really liked the whole part with Carmen looking into Sophia's soul, awesome descriptions, and Carmen's reactions to the visions of Isaac. Great suspense, ...

This was really interesting. I liked how you put a spin on Snow White's perfect, happy-go-lucky life. Your writing style is very intriguing also, you distribute sarcasm and dark humor ...

Hey, welcome to YWS! I liked this. I especially loved the metaphors you used in the first paragraph and how you described each emotion as a layer in your mc's ...

You wrote this very nicely; it was very easy to feel how hurt Bella was by this and how it hurt Edward too. The only thing I was wondering was, ...

whoa!! this is great!! Jess dating Edward? What kind of Topsy-turvey world is this! ha This is very very interesting it had me glued to my seat. I can't wait ...

I love this! The characters are realistic the descriptions were great and you give the reader a creepy feeling with your writing. Great job! The first chapter, although short, was ...

Heyy! this was really interesting, I liked it a lot. I found some typos but I'm not going to repeat them. I like the thought of a little girl seeing ...

I thought the awkward rhythm made it cuter and sweeter. It was very lullaby-esque and I have to say, it did remind me of Twilight. But if you hadn't mentioned ...

Whoa! You're right about the creepiness! haha. I liked this a lot, the idea has been overdone, but you definitely brought something new to it. I only caught two little ...

Hey, huggybear123! Alright man this was really good. I just have one suggestion: You should skip lines between dialogue. It got a little confusing, trying to figure out exactly who ...

Hey, alright first of all, this is really really long. I agree with VicternoO, you should definitely submit things of this length in increments. I only got through about six ...

Hey! Alright so I like this better than the previous chapter. The only thing I thought was confusing was how you had said that Sam was gay in the first ...