eastarcher

Look at your diction. Look at your line breaks (you end on weak words galore: in, the, and, etc.). First, your diction goes from...a dorm room and life there, to ...

this second segment kind gives me the goosebumps, and flashbacks. All in all, a decent (long) read that must have taken a lot of thought and imagery to get right. ...

I've changed the last one to "golden". The first three were intentional. I could easily put synonyms there, but I think I established a cool rhythm by using three different ...

It is me, the writer. It's about planning a suicide and then realizing lamely that I cannot follow through. I started this as if it was going to be someone ...