graesch666

I'm also glad you changed it. Way better now ^^ I just found one sentence really weird : Is it the age of discovery, between the ages of stupidity and ...

As for me, the whole thing with the lunchbox truly adds something, I think. It creates an interesting discrepancy with the rest of the chapter, some kind of a "comical" ...

I'm an atheist, so I don't really care what you think of God. But still, you could make your moral a bit less "preachy". And above all, try to make ...

The ending felt almost like those little sayings you get in fortune cookies. Yeah, you've put your finger right on it ! I love you. ^^

Well, I don't understand what's so difficult to get. He's eating and remembering things. It's not nonsensical. Oh, so there was no need to go and look further, eventually. I ...

Each of the policemen had their guns drawn – ready to shoot, expecting a struggle – and the lieutenant was holding a photograph. This needs some review. I would delete ...

You're welcome. But isn't it wonderful ? You managed to write a story that can be taken in two different ways without even wanting to. Perhaps you should pretend you ...