hippie_vampire

I really liked this chapter and I am exited to quickly go to the next chapter and see why the can-man is trying to kill her! Now I would say ...

I like this:) I think for the most part it flows really well. One thing I might change would be: “Jess,” he said. “You’re up. Excellent.” You said he had ...

I like the concept...But I agree, it was to short. It was also rather confusing, you introduced a lot of characters without much of a real introduction. I would have ...

The only typo I found was this. An hour later, when I had managed to navigate down through the labyrinth that had once been my home, the screams were still ...

I'm really bad at proof reading(I have a hard time even doing my own stuff!) but I'm good with plots and stuff if you know what I mean. One thing ...