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joshuapaul

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Burnt.

    Haus, (can I call you Haus?) I think most of the comments I made about your last poem can be asserted here. With exception to the comment about the lack ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Lily

    I have read some not-so-great poetry today. This was refreshing, you do well to evoke a clear image in the first stanza and you carry it with you for a ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: B*******

    Spike, sir. Rate this 18+ shut the fuck up! appears three times, consider these strikes. (well one is enough, if you read the posting guidelines here You will find this ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Knowledge

    First off, Please don't 'copyright' your work. It is automatically copyrighted to begin with, but it's a little annoying and distracting. It makes the reader think about Payne rather than ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Oh River

    Okay so this isn't bad, it isn't great either. I think the main issue with this is the lack of clear imagery. But, that been said, there doesn't seem to ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: 4pt suicide note

    I'm really not so sure about the title. I mean when I read a title like this I don't generally read the piece itself -- typically I shuffle it into ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Burning Skies

    I'm with the others, this was lovely. I want to come back to this when I have a little more time and uproot the wee errors that blight this piece. ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Star Crossed: Chapter One

    Okay, let me warn you, I'm in a harsh mood. I think I will just edit as I go and have some general notes at the end. 1016 words The ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Saved from Heartbreak

    I'm going to review the start of this, because that's where you need to put in the most work - it's rather difficult to get through. I sat there under ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Singing Red

    I really do enjoy these short poems of yours. I'm not a big poetry reader, ask anybody, but I do like the subtlety of your work. And the simple lines, ...

    Sep 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Dark Intrigue

    I hate it when this happens. I read a story and I have so much to say about it, then I get to the other reviews and it has already ...

    Sep 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Saxophones in Fall

    This was well written, the prose was dripping with imagery and you managed to appeal to the senses - even the yolk moon, of all things - but for the ...

    Sep 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: september eighth

    originally a blog until someone said I should post it as a poem. well, here we are. the lamentation of my sorrows. joy. You should thank that someone. I'm with ...

    Sep 26, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Broken and Reassembled.

    The sky was black as night when he was waiting for her. Black as night is cliche, it is also a poor image considering you are talking about night time, ...

    Sep 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Snow White Spoof

    Ha, do you want a serious review of this? I'm not sure if I want to commit to applying a critical eye to this just yet, because like you said ...

    Sep 26, 2011


The most important thing is to have fun! Stress makes for distress and neither of those belong in writing!
— Kaia