jtksmile

Thank you for your thoughts. It was an old piece of work and it made me think. I will work on it. Thanks again Jtk xx

Mixed feelings about this. I can't think of anything to evolve from this. I hope you can create something from this. Sorry, but I don't feel anything flying off the ...

Nice. I hope you will continue this! An enjoyable brief glimpse of what is to come.

A better new version, i enjoyed reading it! If i were you, i would still review a more stable rhythm. :) Jtk

This could be quite a nice piece, but, please be serious.

You have a really good basic idea there. I did struggle to find a rhythm, probably due to the in-forced 'over-the-top' rhyming. I like the basis.

I agree with all that has been said. Also i do not find pie that interesting.

That is beautiful, sums a lot of views up. However i cannot be dealing with coffee. Eurgh!