kokobeans

You have a unique style of writing, it's quite good. I really like the way you've introduced Tom, he's a believable and instantly likeable character. I have to agree with ...

This is a great poem, very thought provoking. I quite like the repitition of verbs and 'which is why' at the beginning and end of the verses, it slows the ...

She's a butterfly It's a careless trance A fragile dance That I have come to find And if I could watch her If I could hold her Maybe she would ...

I love this! Very gripping. You've really brought the main character to life. I liked the way you refered to the mother as 'she' at first, it instantly made a ...

I like the ideas in this poem, it's genuine and very mature. It does lack rhythm, which a poem can do without. Maybe if you pushed some of the short ...

The faster we got out of that wretched place the better. I looked up at the dim shaft of light from the world above. It would be risky, but not ...

I enjoyed this. The meaning is a bit hard to grasp, but it makes sense. I think it would help to make it longer, maybe add in a few other ...

I really like the way you've introduced your characters here, and the contrast between the dark assasin and the dopey emperor works really well. Overall I loved it. Here's what ...

You have quite a sophisticated style of writing, it's very unique. An idea might be to add in a link to the previous part, which would encourage more people to ...

This looks like a really fun book to join, but thus far i'm confuse. Is there any chance somebody could let me know who's who when what's where and why? ...

Not again! I couldn't wait to be out of this place. I looked up at the enormous creature we where now facing... Creature? Creatures! Bad as the situation was, I ...

'Live to see another day, to see the rains of may', that's got a really nice ring to it, i love the way you've used it in repitition too. I ...

Gryphon The crash thing, i was trying to make the sound of it move, but you're right, it doesn't make much sense. I managed to use a spellchecker, and still ...

I lie back in my hammock and look up at the stars. It isn't like this in the city. Here I can close my eyes and listen to the sea's ...

I jumped in two long leaps to the wall, where i climbed up the rocks with ease, listening to the electrtic attacks and shattering ice that formed an abstract but ...