magiclukehutch

I must agree with Niteowl. I could see that you're trying to get the emotions of the story to go inside of your readers, but its just not getting inside ...

That was very confusing for me. There were grammar mistakes that previous critiques have pointed out. But don't let my opinion bring you down. Keep working at it and you'll ...

The was a soft, buzzing noise ahead, slowly getting louder and louder. Then , a shrieking siren wailed, piercing the peace of the nightime. Then there was a huge crash, ...

My footsteps echoed through the dormant house, silence ringing through my ears. The breeze sweeps through the house You put the word 'house' twice in two sentences and to me ...

Very romantic, but what does this mean?: She hides under her Emo face Her sadness, as Emo usaly means depressed. I didn't know that! It's true what they say, you ...

A sword formed by a veil of crimson light, wielded with great skill and confidence, the opposing Shadowmere was diced in half. This doesn't make sense and I can really ...

Lucy: I'm glad you liked it! Rieda: Lol, I'm glad you liked it too! Emeraldi: And I'm most glad you like it, lol. It's a typo, actually. It's supposed to ...