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mellophone7

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Listen

    I love this, and I could especially relate to it, too. I don't want to have silence (all the time); I almost always want to have music in my life ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Fights and Kisses

    Interesting. You capture (as I see it) a very complicated relationship from the girl's point of view. A few mechanical things: But Couples fight, Is couples supposed to be capitalized ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Manipulate. Criticize. Forget.

    I agree with the previous comment by MissRockers. It tells a story in a simple way. I didn't find any errors in it, although the "Is it?" did seem a ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: An Abyss of Blue

    This is a really cool piece! It perfectly captures the wish of a human being to be able to swim in the ocean with all of the other creatures. Keep ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Flutter By

    I read your last comment, and it seems like a really interesting way to write a poem. I've never seen one written like that. I loved this, and it was ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Love?

    I love this poem. It really touched me, and I know exactly how the person feels. Just one thing, I noticed a few places where two words got squished together. ...

    Apr 21, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Eleanor *Novel in Progress* CHAPTER TWO

    I like how you incorporated the "no sense of time" concept. Just a couple things: Or is it that an African sunrise is more exotic and full of fiery? I ...

    Apr 18, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: DELETED.

    Instead of rewriting all of the previous comments and taking up more of your time than necessary, just refer back to the other users' comments, because I agree with every ...

    Apr 3, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Spy Escape

    Is there more to this? This would make a very, very good longer story, one that I would most definitely read! :) A few things: Try using italics when your ...

    Apr 3, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Unicorns VS Zombies

    This seems like it could be an interesting story. Some technicality things: there was a sudden up bring of the infamous unicorns. Did you mean a sudden upbringing? the world ...

    Apr 3, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Ballet Shoe

    Pretty good. The beginning started out alright, but then I started to get confused towards the end. The officers also didn't seem that realistic. Like, shouldn't they have asked more ...

    Apr 3, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: War Sucks

    I will agree with all of the comments/suggestions so far. I loved reading this. It's a good write that really drew me in very quickly. I could easily imagine it ...

    Apr 3, 2011
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Elizabethan market place

    I saw just a couple grammatical errors that I believe several people pointed out, so I will just briefly mention them. To vs. Too Lute vs. lute (is that supposed ...

    Feb 20, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Deleted 9

    Oh. My. Gosh. That was the most sincere, heartfelt, beautiful thing I have every read. You wrote about sincere love, without adding anything that made it seem cheesy. Amazing work! ...

    Feb 20, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Untitled Song

    Wow. Such a heartfelt, touching song. Wish I could hear the tune. A few blips in the sense of rhythm, but since it is a song, I don't think it ...

    Feb 19, 2011


You never really know how much of you takes residence in other people... We all exchange bits and pieces of ourselves with each other until we're big sparkly collages of everyone and everything we've ever loved
— GengarTheGhost