papillote

Better like that?

Is it better like that?

Is it better like that?

I made changes and I think the blade actually ends up scarier-looking ;)

I'm not sure how to get those chapters back in chronological order so I added links to the previous and next chapters at the beginning and end of every chapter. ...

Okay, I tried to go over the entire thing and to "'ve got" my "have"s. I probably missed a couple but well...

A little better?

You were totally right about the wiggle room thing. I think it's better this way.

Hi, thanks for pointing out that it wasn't clear. I expounded a little on the allergy thing and I swapped the eggs with broccoli because he basically spends all of ...

Hi, it took me a while but I reworked entirely the first paragraph you had trouble with.

I think it's a little better now.

Hi, I think I slightly improved the way Nyssa's nakedness is treated.

Hi, I know it took me a while but I made small adjustments and I tried to take your advice and to let the reader see more of Viggo's prison ...

I made corrections and crushed, crushed, crushed him ;)

Thanks for the review. I don't know why I didn't see it earlier but, now that I have, I'm really glad you left it. I really liked writing this chapter. ...