pinkladyapples

If Mark was named before this chapter, I think it might work a bit better. Maybe they could see him in the cafeteria before or before first period, so we ...

This is a sad chapter. Poor Alex. Maybe it would be better if Cal told her. Maybe that would stop the panic if she knew. It is a good representation ...

Another good chapter. Maybe don't have Cal mention his dad is a monster and let us work that out ourselves. It is a double-edged-sword with Cal knowing what happened to ...

This would be a good start to the second chapter if you combined the first three, but I can also see why you wouldn't want that. The short chapters are ...

This is a very short chapter. It works for now, but I would say it is not dramatic enough to be a scene that deserves its own chapter. I like ...

This is a good next chapter. The dynamics between Alex, Lucy and Cal are well thought out. They seem like a real school friendship group to me. I can see ...

I enjoyed this beginning chapter of your story. The mystery is set up well with the dream at the start, and the interactions between your characters are well thought out. ...