scribblingquill

hhmm there's nothing wrong with it technically, but it didn't really seem to have...a point? it felt a little like you were writing it for the sake of writing something. ...

i LIKE that your stuff grosses me out. (im generally easily grossed out, i don't like ugly slang words etc, probably from being the daughter of an english teacher) but ...

only thing i can pick out is here: on a different occasion tiring to have a full on make out session with her at one of the burb boys "trying" ...

fuck trying to tone it down, DON'T tone it down its brilliant. take out all the sex, add more plot and make it less blunt and you've got a shitty ...

nice! The informal language threw me off a bit at times, but it definitly matches the subject matter so its all fine with me. I'd love to hear the rhythm ...

there are some nice lines in here, and the idea/concept is good too but i think you're restricting yourself with such a strict rhyme scheme. Unless you are using the ...

Love, hate, happiness: these are all abstract concepts. Many, maybe all, poems are, deep down, about emotions and other abstractions, but it's hard to build a strong poem using only ...

This has way too much rhyme in it, and seems pretty shallow. You are just saying what you mean in a rhyming format as opposed to SHOWING themes and thoughts ...

The machine image is very cool, I'd love to see you expand on it. This has potential, but is rather brief and so far, shallow. Remember a poem is an ...

Haha pre-teenage girl review. I like your writing. Its nice and...poetic in a REAL way you know? Reminds me of nick hornby quite a lot. You ever read high fidelity? ...

haha lol i used to draw diagrams of macrophages as pacman in biology ^^ ahahah

My body is out of sync, i really like that line. I can understand if this is the way you feel, i was in nearly the exact same position at ...

i rather loved this Perhaps you are insignificant, an ordinary human, living in an ordinary world, Perhaps you are insignificant, a speck of cosmic dust, floating in the coldness between ...

im unsure about your meaning but its probably just me being too lazy to figure it out :D i really rather liked this, you have some great potential. a lot ...

I love your writing style. Straight, to the point, but still elegant. A breath of fresh air from thirteen years olds writing about feelings they've never had with words as ...