skorlir

Tobacco use in young adults is a very high statistic By this I think you mean that tobacco use is highly prevalent in young adults, or the statistics are surprising, ...

Mind the edges. What if I don't always want to be/cold, and strong, and wise,/like an icicle? Good introduction; good precedent for the stanza's structure (What if... like... What if... ...

You know how I work. Mind the edges; take with salt. The lens is opaque. This introduction is leading - but empty. The lens is fleeting; the lens is gone; ...

Not generally too familiar with free-verse, but I'll give it my best shot. Even forgetting rhyme scheme, timing is still important - and, I would think, the largest component of ...

In poetry, taste varies. However, I think it generally a good rule to avoid prepositions and particles. And sometimes one preposition is better than another; but one is always better ...

Alrighty. One paragraph de moi to one paragraph de toi, and one at the end to wrap up. Just so you know, I don't usually read a lot of free ...

Each double line break (with a space between paragraphs) henceforth corresponds with a paragraph of yours. The last one will lead into a short overall impression, and I'll end with ...