spiritblackwolf2705

Wow, tell your sister she has talent. It is very rare that I see young people interested in writing anymore....they have all fallen for the gorey fun of video games. ...

Bigbadbear covered most of the problems but, it was stil awesome. Don't feel discouraged to make them please. ~ ♥Spirit♥

Okay! Good job, the rhymes were awesome. Now I must point out some things that need to be fixed: You need to capitalize! And you need to use puncuation! and ...

((Okay, this chapter is rather short, but come on, there is always atleast one short chapter in a book.)) Nightmare just stood there, her head pointed to the sky as ...

Well done! Honestly....wow...your writing keeps me guessing. Keep up the good work! P.s. One of the only reasons I get on YWS anymore is to read your stories... ~Spirit

Lol, It's okay.

Thanks everyone who has given posited feedback on this. I'm probably going to edit this tomorrow or sometime this weekend. ~Spirit

Uhh...Thanks.

Thanks people. :)

Yes, I see your point.

Thanks. About the whole there has to be signs that he is a vampire, she knows he is a vampire. She is really an assasin, sent to kill vampires, but ...

Hmm...Very nice. Full of emotion. One thing though, I think sucker puch is supposed to be sucker punch. That's really all I found, besides the confusion with Hel. Keep up ...

Look into my eyes And tell me what you see Is it an illusion? Or is it truly me? I lose my self in the disguises Growing fond of the ...

(I haven't written in a while, so this is my coming back story. I don't know if it's that good. Please critique. Also, I don't have MS Word so I ...

Really good, only mistake I saw were the there's, but those have already been pointed out. Great work. ~Spirit