velvetmuse

I like how some of it rhymes. I'm all for profanity, the more the better, but it's placed awkwardly, out of context, for me, that is. My favorite part though: ...

Maybe I really like your poem because I can relate, and isn't that what poetry supposed to do? Anyway, the beginning is mostly my favorite then you just kind of ...

Lovely piece ! You started off very strong, and I was captivated instantly. I do agree with PenguinAttack though, you start off amazing and then kind of start to drag ...