writergirl007

Concert, the only reason why I said it was too personal is that you use "I". I enjoy reading these type of writings, sometimes. I was just thinking that you ...

I want to commend you on your tremendous effort first of all. It's hard to post one of your works. But, this review will make you a better writer (I ...

I enjoyed this and thought it was good. Here are just a few errors I saw. "People speculated, he was only doing this to convince himself that we indeed was ...

Um...I am unsure what the plot is or where this story is going! Also, is the language neccesary? Just wondering. "I sat strumming my fingers against the arm of the ...

I only read a little, but from what I read...It's okay. I usually like descriptive writing, and in some parts of your story so far, it's good. However, you repeat ...

This is good, but I think you need a little bit more detail. Maybe, how he got into the Manor? (What is that anyways? Since you have it capitolized, I ...

This was good, but a little confusing. Are the two girls different or the same person? I can't tell! Make that clear. "Won’t change anything." This sentecne is not professional ...

This was good. "'Why have you come here to our lands?' he shouted, a voice used to giving orders." Try something like this, "he shouted commandingly." or something like that. ...

This is really good. I saw no mistakes besides the ones already mention. I'm struggling to see the connection between the prologue and this story, but I assume all will ...

This is very interesting! I like it. I have some things that need help. "Wagging school how could you I thought we bought you up better then that.” I noticed ...

This is good. It is a little short. And...I think you should not make it so personal. Name your characters. And...if you do make it about yourself, at least name ...

This is really good! I love it! I do agree, though, it is a little vague. Maybe more detail or explanations? Also, I found a few things that needed to ...

Okay...this was well written. Really long. I found some mistakes. "She also tried to cast out of her memory and consciousness that tens of pairs of eyes observed her wearily" ...

This is good. There was a part where you used that twice and it was not needed. I think there should be more description of the day. This is really ...

Well...I agree with Firestarter when he said this was very cliche. It reminds me a lot of Eragon. Aside from that...I found a few things that need to be changed. ...