Sure looks interesting, but it's a little hard to find and read on Live Journal. I'm sure that if you pasted it into a thread and posted it in the Literary Forums you would get more comments and critiques - I would most certainly look at it in detail for you if that was the case.
If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term. — Frinderman
