What is a dying cliche? Do you mean, did "I" die in the end of the poem? If so, no. What I meant was that self-mutliation (i.e. hurting myself) could not hurt as much as hurting the "you" in the poem. Does that make sense?
Wow...beautiful imagery...you've just blown me away
My favorite part:
and the broken wings of dead dreams
litter the earth, like leaves;
However, the end did not work for me. I can't exactly place my finger on what didn't really work in it, but it just didn't. Perhaps it was too blunt. Apart from the ending, this is one of the best pieces I've ever come across.
A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky. — Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson
