Time went slowly by

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 33
Time went slowly by in school,
i sat down and did my work,
i couldn't concentrate and got told off by my teacher,
that day time went slowly by in school,

Time went slowly by at work,
i sat down and did my research,
i couldn't concentrate and got told off by my boss,
that day time went slowly by at work,

Time went slowly by on my fist day of retirement,
i sat down and read my book,
i couldn't concentrate because I'm old,
that day time went slowly by on my fist day of retirement,

time went slowly by in my long life,
i sat down and did everything,
i couldn't concentrate much of the time,
those years went slowly by in my life of 96 years.
i don't really care anymore if people hate me,
i'm used to it, so don't bother saying anything to me, because you know that i really don't care!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 33
this came into my head whilst i was listning to shayne ward (random huh?)
i don't really care anymore if people hate me,
i'm used to it, so don't bother saying anything to me, because you know that i really don't care!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 90
It's a bit confusing to know what is going on, but apart from that it's ok. Some of the grammar is a bit strange, but you can sort that out easily. Also, some of the lines didn't quite flow together, so some rhythm exercises could be in order.

RR*
Want a faithful critique? PM me!

Luv RR*



Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown