Beyond the Grey

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grey/gray? who knows...



I slip in and out
Over and back.
It’s so easy to slide,
So easy to jump between.

I move back and forth.
I climb over the wall,
Or simply walk right through.
No trouble at all.

But the strings won’t break.
I’m forever tied in between,
Tied to the wall:
To the vast, grey nowhere.

The strings won’t break,
And so I continue.
Never able to delve deeper,
Never able to explore.

Here I live
In the grey,
In between worlds,
In between lives.

Tied to the wall
Because I can not choose;
Because I can not see
Beyond the grey.
"All for one and one for all- that is our motto, is it not?"




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Gender Female
Points 4890
Reviews 516
Hmm this is very interesting, I like it. There's only one stanza with rhyme though so that sort of threw me off. And I believe grey can be spelled both ways, sort of like the weird word ax and axe :).

My favorite line:

I move back and forth.
I climb over the wall,
Or simply walk right through.
No trouble at all.

*The rhyme really worked for me, though maybe the word "simply" should be taken out in the third line so that it flows better in length.

My least favorite line:

But the strings won’t break.
I’m forever tied in between,
Tied to the wall:
To the vast, grey nowhere.

*This stanza is okay but I don't fully understand its meaning. "To the vast, grey nowhere"? What is the grey nowhere? And I don't thing the comma should be there. Did you by chance mean "grey nothing"?

Altogether this was a nice poem. :) PM me if you have any questions.

Keep it up!
~Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*



I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights