No Title, agian!

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Hmm... I don't know why I wrote this one, but please crit!
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Your lips are moving, but I hear no sound.
It feels as if my world is crashing down.
Your hand is touching mine, but I feel nothing.
when you said you needed to tell me somthing,
I never would have guessed....

Your words are suspended in the air.
Within this information that you share,
my eyes are tearing, my thoughts are clearing.
I guess this is goodbye....


In a hospital over a hundred miles away,
a child that will never know his father is born..
"Every-thing's broken there's no way around
It's so hard to smile
When you bring me down."
-
Me.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 52
Hey, hey, I like this poem. I think it's great! The flow of the words and the rhythm was, I hesitate to say, perfect. Liked the way you ended the first two stanzas. I must say, I didn't get the last two sentences. Maybe I just missed it or something. All in all, I really like this. Nice work. :wink:
~*~It's Not Faith If You Use Your Eyes ~*~
- Miracle by Paramore



Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!
— Gretchen Wieners