Sunset

4 posts
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flowerchild
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 27
Sun Apr 29, 2007 12:33 am
flowerchild says... · Sun Apr 29, 2007 12:33 am
Half the sun shown on the horizon

Dust and sand settled as did the sun

Darkness will soon come

And the light soon will go

Colors are shining until moonbeams show
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Twit
Supporter
Gender Non-binary
Points 1979
Reviews 1176
Fri May 04, 2007 9:49 pm
Twit says... · Fri May 04, 2007 9:49 pm
I like this. It's simple, but it has RHYME!! Goodie, I love rhymes, cos I can never rhyme successfully myself. I like the last line best, it rounds it off nicely.

-Twit
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir
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emooly
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 16
Sat May 12, 2007 12:24 am
emooly says... · Sat May 12, 2007 12:24 am
Wow, that was really nice.
I always try to write something about nature... but I always end up writing a novelette for teens... lol
Your really good for your age.

-Em to the Ily
Moo you.
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CK Lynn
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 253
Wed May 23, 2007 7:22 pm
CK Lynn says... · Wed May 23, 2007 7:22 pm
Very nice concept. The ryme almost seemed unintentional..very good. It needs a significant amount of development, though.
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"In my contact with people I find that, as a rule, it is only the little, narrow people who live for themselves, who never read good books, who do not travel, who never open up their souls in a way to permit them to come into contact with other souls -- with the great outside world."
— Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery