Grey

Grey

You saunter through the streets.
Grey, lost in a mirage of colour.
Plain. Dull. No heads turn now,
But you were beautiful once.

For once you were purple!
You stood tall and proud as purple, I remember.
You were vivacious, exuberant, wide eyed.
Spectacular!
Vitality was embodied in you.
But time claimed your glowing cheeks
And made them sag.
And after a time you changed to blue.

And I watched you gradually decay
The allure and mystique lost -
To grey.


Let me know what you think. Thanks.

I love this poem! in fact i'd like to print it of but don't worry i wont
I love the language, the description, escpeciall the bit,

You were vivacious, exuberant, wide eyed.
Spectacular!
Vitality was embodied in you.
But time claimed your glowing cheeks
And made them sag.
And after a time you changed to blue.

Oh! I wish i had written it. I can't think of a thing you should improve
Charlotte

Thanks alot:D

Just wanted to ad that my reference to purple is a literary allusion to "Warning" by Jenny Joseph.

I have no critique for this; the language and imagery is wonderful, and it has a very effective wistful tone. ^_^

I do not really critique poetry, but the I do read it sometimes, and so I thought that I would actually say when I liked it. So, there you go, I like it. I liked the language, the contrast - unfortunately, as you see, I offer no real tips or advice.

There's only one tiny little thing:

quote:
But you were beautiful once.
Comma before 'once'?

Esme