Halloween

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It's very imaginative, Reyu. I think you're missing a few apostrophes but then, that doesn't really matter and I'm sure you'll add them in later, wont you?

The rhyme is used effectively, you have some brilliant imagery and a great theme and in general I thought it was really well written. The rhythm was a little off but not enough that I have any changes to suggest so well done and don't you ever get it into your head to scare me again. Oh and Happy Halloween =)

Gah! Did you have to ruin the whole thing with the title "Halloween"?! *grumbles* I loved the content, and I almost didn't read it because of the name... well, what are you waiting for? Fix it!

I agree that a title change is in order.

Reyu wrote:Sweet demonic rapture.
Ghosts and ghouls; satanic laughter.
Pumpkins glowing bright.
The only lantern for a souls delight.

The slant rhyme is fine, it seems a little weird that the lines that correspond in meter (sometimes?) don't correspond in rhyme, it kind of throws me off. Also, soul's and not souls.

Light a candle, remove the steak.
Carmilla succubus's lustful bite.
The lords prayer is what you say tonight.

Again, missing punctuation: lords should be Lord's.
I think you probably meant stake and not steak - stake is what you slay a vampire with; steak is what your Uncle Ronald eats with a HP sauce and a side of mashed potatoes.

Possessed obsessions given life.
A doctor does not forsee such strife.
Takes a lightning strike to make his wife.

I like the internal rhyme! However, forsee should be foresee... and is this a reference to Frankenstein? I don't really get it.

King of the pumpkin patch with fangs and claws.
Behind a locked door a zombie gnaws.
Metamorphosis as his hands become his paws.

...Why the periods? They're not separate sentences.

This is a poem and I think it would be fun read out loud. However, I think you should try working within an established meter as well as a rhyme pattern. If you take into account the number of syllables in the line and where the accents on the words fall, you might be able to create a more "spooky" effect. Happy Halloween!

Yes, good ol' frank Not Halloween without him.

holy heck! Why is everyone on this site freaking amazing at writing. This is sooo good. I dont really have anything bad to say. Holy cow i seriously wish i could write this good and think of these things. I guess im not as imaginative as you. Super good poem and keep it up!!

I agree with the whole title change; if you changed it it would give it a more ghostly feel because then the reader's imagination could run wild and they could think of their own story for the poem.

Okay, so I loved this. The flow worked and made it seem like a song and the structure helped with this as well. I could imagine something like this by Tim Burton. I liked the structure, it seemed neat and altogether made the poem seem a lot more professional.

One thing; your thirteenth line: "between" should be capitalised I believe.

Other that that, perfect!

I have no idea of what to name it.