A Little poem I wrote...

2 posts
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Brit20002004
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 4
Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:53 am
Brit20002004 says... · Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:53 am
I miss you
Please come home
I miss you
Why did you leave me all alone
I miss you
Why did you have to say goodbye
I miss you
Please tell me why
I miss you
You are the one I love
I miss you
All I want is just a little hug
I miss you....
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SeraphTree
Gender Female
Points 4209
Reviews 389
Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:40 pm
SeraphTree says... · Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:40 pm
:D

My first suggestion... really go into depth here. Why do you miss the person so much? Do you feel guilt, confusion, apprehension? We need to know what you feel. :D
We know nothing of the situation, so this piece sounds a bit like 'poor me' writing. :D Give us a little background, i.e. a flashback, a letter, an arguement, etc.
PM me if you need anything :D:D:D:D
"How grateful we are that the heavens are indeed open, that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored, and that the Church is founded on the rock of revelation. We are a blessed people, with apostles and prophets upon the earth today."~ Thomas S. Monson
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2 posts


This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy