This is cute! I like this poem for the most part, but the third line, "Started with the garden plow" seems a little bit like it doesn't fit. I understand that this poem needs to rhyme, but maybe if you change it to something about a seed instead, it will be more in line with the "growing" sense of this poem.
Keep writing! Good job!
June
"I'd steal somebody's purse if I could google it and then download it." -- Firestarter
Shouldn't you say in the beginning "how small the watermelon seed is right now?" Because you don't plant a baby watermelon and it grown into a big watermelon.
I really like this. It's haiku-ish, but not, which makes it different.
I am a little confused by the end. Why is it alone? I don't get it. Also, was it alone its whole life, or was it surrounded by love in the beginning? I wonder... you leave me with so many questions.
Hi, there! This is cute. Made me think of watermelon, which I oh so very miss now that it's winter. Anyhoo... I like this, for the most part. I'm just not a fan of small poems, and this one just...the last line just kind of throws me off since its shorter than all the rest. I wouldn't notice as much if it were a long poem, but it just stands out because of how short this is. Nice, though. Tata! -Miss Mizz
"Chase your dreams, and remember me, speak bravery, Because after all, those wings will take you up so high." -- Owl City, "To the Sky" ✯ ✯ ✯
Hey there! If I'm honest when i first saw this poem and read the first two lines I though, "oh dear." However the way you've ended this poem makes the fact that it's so short amazing. The last two lines deliver that effect and impact every good poem should and I think that's why I ended up enjoying this. Very well done. One nitpick i would have is that it's way too short to deliver any kind of message or any real feel of impact, so perhaps keep this but rewrite a new and longer version, no? Keep up the writing! Ben
I agree with Ben. Also, you misspelled your title--you added an extra 'L'. You might want to fix your meter on the last line, and add a comma after 'watermelon'. This was an adorable poem besides those 3 things, and if it were a living thing, I would hug it. Really. It's that adorable.
When your heart gets pierced with arrows, don't rip them out and pierce those around you in retribution for your hurt. You'll only unnecessarily wound others and bleed to death yourself. — LadyMysterio
