Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

He died farting.

STOP! If you don't pass this book onto at least three people in the next twenty four hours your house will burn down.

What?

It was about noon when the leeches attacked, and Katie was relieved when they did.

Nobody believes you believe in believing with a five foot pole of believing. That is true of all the fish in the sea.

Today I found out this thread died and so I cried. And now I rhyme. All the time.

I woke up, getting ready for my big day...

Tony's gynecomastia confused some while enticing others, but not Tony.

She wasn't sure what was about to happen, but was sure that when it happened, she would know.

Hi! My name is so and so and this is my story...

This story will either have a happy ending or it won't.

This story starts with the protagonist talking to her boyfriend.

The pirate loved booty, but hadn't had any in a very long time.

Because I don't feel like coming up with something off the top of my head:

Walking down the street, posture straight, and his eyes cold, was a man dressed in a black trench coat.

^ This.

I wrote this awhile ago, and it's... yeah. Just awful.

To be fair, though, I'm not fantastic at openings to begin with.

@horrendous what are you talking about?! I'd read that book straight through without even a lunch break.