Chronicals of the Orderen-Chapter 1

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last mohican
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Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:30 pm
last mohican says... · Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:30 pm
This post has been temporarily removed.
Last edited by last mohican on Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Ares
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Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:39 pm
Ares says... · Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:39 pm
The ending's a bit foggy, but apart from that it's a nice beginning. Some elaboration, spacing, and revision would do it some good though.
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Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
— Sigmund Freud