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Lauren2010
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Points 370
Reviews 541
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:11 pm
Lauren2010 says... · Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:11 pm
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This is currently being rewritten.
Got YWS?
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Daisy131Spoink
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Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:22 am
Daisy131Spoink says... · Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:22 am
At first I thought that Natura's name was Naruto, HAHAHAHA Ignore that anyway so.....critique time. I really think that this is good, I mean it is short and has a few grammer mistakes but still I really liked it. Nice names to....very different!
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borntobeawriter
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Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:31 pm
borntobeawriter says... · Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:31 pm
Hey Lauren,

Great Chapter! I'm really enjoying this lovely tale so far. As far as 'grammar' mistakes, I only noticed one:

The conversation didn’t help to keep the nightmare at bat.
Um, I think you mean at 'bay'? ;)


That's it for now, it was excellent, I'm going to the next!! :D

Tanya
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Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe