Things You Shouldn't Say...

You mommy drowned in vinegar. Now hush while I eat you.

What shouldn't you say to John Green?

"Umm who are you again?"

What shouldn't you say to someone who just lost the Superbowl?

"the natchobowl is the winner hands down."

What should you never say to a clone of yourself who is trying to replace you?

"They cloned you using cells from my cancer, so you'll probably die soon."

What should you never say to a scared little child?

"Don't listen to them adults. There are monsters under your bed and in your closet and behind your door. There's death in darkness. And -- there's a monster inside you."

I am so mean.

What should you never say to an astronaut on ice-skates?

"There's a hole in you're space suit."

What shouldn't you say to people at a funeral?

"I thought the guy in the coffin was meant to be the dead one here."

What shouldn't you say to a claustrophobic amoeba?

"Don't worry I'm just gonna put you in this microscopic box."

What shouldn't you say to me?

Winston Churchill is dead.

What shouldn't you say to a balloon in a room full of porcupines?

"Well. You're busted, little roun' man."

What shouldn't you say to a gorilla with pancakes for hands?

"Want some syrup with that?"

What shouldn't you say to a monkey that hasn't had a banana in three years?

"BananaNANANANANANANANA SPLIT!"

What shouldn't you say to a catatonic mushroom?

"Psssh, get over it."

What shouldn't you say to Nate?

"There's a quail in your boot"

What shouldn't you say to Zolen?

You are a very ordinary and cliche type of person.

What shouldn't you say to a two-legged carrot?