open the ketchup bottle and pour your coke in it, then close it, and place it on a table. then wait. when the inevitable happens, pretend like the bottle is the source of a plague that will end humanity and weep while screaming THE END HAS ARRIVED HUMANITY IS DONE FOR
I'll admit the two turtle doves are growing on me, but there are ten birds in this house already and we both know geese are feathered bioweapons of mass destruction. — Silvern