I've tried buttering my sausages before. They felt so blood-pressure-rising that I never did that again. I put tomato sauce on my bread-and-butter, does that count?
For according to the trollish philosopher Plateau, "if you wants to understan' an enemy, you gotta walk a mile in his shoes. Den, if he's still your enemy, at least you're a mile away and he's got no shoes." — A Blink of the Screen by Terry Pratchett