Did you just type this up randomly? The last line of the haiku seemed kind of random to me. I would suggest writing a more lengthy poem rather than a haiku, for I sense a lot of feeling from this writing.
Oh, and by the way, "refridgerator" is spelled "refrigerator". (was that purposely spelled like that?)
erm...don't haiku's have 4 lines.....I really don't know what to say to this....erm....I'm going to be going now *walks slowly backrounds...then RUNS!*
Just kidding, this is weird...don't think you'll be winning many competitions with this but just the originality of it might get you first place.
I am nothing but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's or maybe like pocket candy that's just a bit too sweet.
jasminebells, I thank you for your comment, although I don't intend on releasing this silly (but genius) poem into any competitions. I wanted to let you know that haikus in fact operate on three lines only.
Last edited by Wang Chung on Tue Feb 02, 2010 7:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
I am nothing but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's or maybe like pocket candy that's just a bit too sweet.
May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of your life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death. — An Unknown Bride, Leap Year