Slips of the Pen

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inkwell
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Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:26 am
inkwell says... · Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:26 am
(taken off)
Last edited by inkwell on Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." — Einstein
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FLyerS
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Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:23 pm
FLyerS says... · Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:23 pm
I like your use of alliteration! Nicely sexual pop-can! This is a dirty little poem, isn't it. I like it. So simple, so understated. Although the use of the word "Fraudulent" is a little forced. "Slovenly" too. Try better words. "Sluttish" works a little better.
Good job! Remember, a poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Those who dance are thought insane by those who don't hear the music.
Those who fit well into their world don't generally go about changing it.
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inkwell
Gender Male
Points 577
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Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:29 am
inkwell says... · Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:29 am
Thanks for the review, you've inspired me to rework this poem. :)
"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." — Einstein
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In the winter months, gale storms in Svalbard can reach wind speeds of 130 km/h. Accompanied by or following snowfall, such storms can reduce visibility dramatically, more so in the winter months of the polar night. During these storms, travel is not advised.
— The Documentarian