The emotion was great, but the way you constructed it wasn't great. All the rhymes were just too forced. Just work on weaving stanzas together and you'll be great.
Okay, thanks everyone, but this piece wasn't really going to go any where from the start. It was just a quickie, you know?
No where to run...baby let's hide. Take her in your arms on a chilling winter's night. Watch the stars twinkle and glisten. Know that you've found the one person that will listen. ~*(ME)*~
There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. — Christopher Darlington Morley
