Heartbreak

As I cuddled into my cotton sheets,
I pulled my knee's tight, close to me.
I promised there, to myself
that I would not cry, I would not weep.

I was stronger than this, I had to be
but I cannot stop this pain I feel.
My eyes are tired and my heart aches,
I wish this pain would take a break.

I love the rhymes in your poem, soft and very poetic. I also like the image of a sad girl, her heart broken, comforting herself. This is a very good poem. It would be better with a few more stanzas going into the story of why she has a broken heart. That would be good. I like reading it, anyway, even without the extra stanzas. Good job, and keep on writing!!!!

Hi again, Kattie.

I must say you have some great talent. Like good poems, yours flow and to me that's very important, no matter if it rhymes or not. I would like to see this a bit longer, though. I was like waiting to hear more. But this is great, and that's a true fact.

I just found some missing commas and I wanted to point them out. I know it's annoying, but I can't help watching orphan commas and doing nothing about it, I always want to give them a home, you know... :\ LOL.

KattieCurtis wrote:As I cuddled into my cotton sheets,
I pulled my knee's tight, close to me.

KattieCurtis wrote:I was stronger than this, I had to be,
but I cannot stop this pain I feel.

KattieCurtis wrote:My eyes are tired, and my heart aches,
I wish this pain would take a break.

There. Finito! Great job, friend. Hope to see more from you! <3

I love this. Very gentle and strongly emotional. You should add more to it - why did she have her heart broken? Who broke her heart? Was it love that broke it? I really really love this. I also love how you had her hug her knees - a physical verb that gives a lot of emotion. Great job!

I shall get working on making it longer Thank you, I agree it needs more to it, an explanation and reason, I know why I wrote it and what made me write it but I never explained it, but i will. Thank you it really helps! x x