Bloodmarked

3 posts
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Gender None specified
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I saw them the way
They're supposed
To be seen.

Their big pale eyes
Flushed in
Poisongreen
And
Their memories shivered
Into nothing.
But still
The claws held its grip
And gived them
The emphy feeling
Of regret
And
Eternal pain.

They wore shadows inside
That fill their bodys
With darkness
And let them bleed
Of razorsharp-thoughts.

It gave them a new-
colder and weaker-
Skin
Of blood.


And still
They managed
To smile.




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Gender Female
Points 523
Reviews 18
Whoa,
I absolutely loved it. It drew me in and definetely kept my attention. Which is kinda hard to do. haha. I don't have a very high attention span. I thought it was amazing. I have nothing to tell you but to keep it up. Cause you're extremely talented.

Sincerely,
Ciara<3
"Love is a lot like playing the piano, at first you play by the rules, but eventually you begin to play by the heart."

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Gender None specified
Points 1538
Reviews 38
I loved the work because I was in the peom from the first word I just found something that didn't make much sense to me
And Gived them the emphy feeling of regret

I think that you should use a word besides gived for example
presented to them the empty feeling of regret
or
granted them the empty feeling of regret

and there might be a spelling mistake I think you meant to write empty feeling of regret. But
overall I loved the poem and hope to read a lot more that you've written, keep working at it.
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love



It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien