Circles

It begins again.
My awareness spins and twirls and churns
Until all the worst things fill my mind.
I am caught in a tempest.
Bewildered and hurt and scared,
I have to lock myself away,
And let the perpetual motion exist
As I shake and sob.
My awareness
Spun itselff off into darkness
For now, I am reduced to nothingness.
My only thought whips and turns
Violently though my head.
And I am powerless--
I know not when I began rocking,
nor how to stop.

But, slowly, in time,
the circle somehow breaks itself,
as if reminded it should not exist.
And I stand and pretend
that everything is perfect.
Just for a while, I say to myself.
Just until it joins again,
and I am forced to stop pretending.