writergirl007

This section is a bit confusing. I can't keep everyone straight and what is happening. Are the boys listening to the conversation? I thought only one person was arguing with ...

This was absolutely amazing! I hope you continue it! You must! I beg you! You are an excellent writer. I hope to be like you one day! Such detail and ...

This is so short! Add some more to it, build it up. It is good, but it can be better. Of course, mine can be better too! Lol.

This was really good! I love your style! It is marvelous! I also like how you incorporate God into your story! So...don't be too mad at me when you read ...

For everyone who enjoys this one, there is a sort of revised copy in Fantasy Fiction under the same title. I am trying to work on it however. So...Just wanted ...

Excellent! I like this as well. I thought it was the perfect length! Although, if you wanted to make it longer, I would suggest giving more detail of their journey ...

I think it will help the story better. I would continue on this! It is really good! And, the only reason why I said that boys usually don't write romantic ...

Wow. Um...this is a little dark. It was well written though. It gave me shivers! Writergirl

This was good, if not a little confusing. "Sam’s angry voice was the last thing she hear before she broke" Heard instead of "hear" "The post in the kitchen in ...

Wow! Excellent! Although, I think her husband is too hard on her! I mean, it is her brother! And, I don't like the language! I know that it is his ...

Thanks Crysi. This really helps. I will work on it. It may be a while though. Perhaps tommarrow? i don't know when. I have added a little more description, but ...

Thanks, Claud. I really liked this poem and thought I would see what others thought. I'm glad that you critiqued it! That really helps. I made the changes you suggested. ...

Your point is very valid. I was jsut surprised seeing that they were close. And, thanks for replying to every comment. It is really nice to see your side! Writergril

In Scribe's defense: Phorcys, you did say, and I quote, "These are purely opinions, feel free to disagree with all of these points." So, therefore, even though you are entitled ...

I think it is a good prologue. I still think that the Man needs more emotion. It would make him more realistic. Writergirl