The Gift of Love

It doesn't particularly carry an original message, but I'm sure you'll move onto that when you get more confident with your poetry.

I don't like the line "a wonderful blessing; a hidden disguise". It's so indescriptive. Blessings generally tend to be wonderful, and disguises are always hidden, so the adjectives become superfluous, and so, as a line, it becomes pointless. I would try and rewrite it to something stronger, to something that says more than simple statement, one which is hard to connect to the poem. What's a disguise? I didn't really understand that bit.

Otherwise, you've show you can keep a fairly good rhythm, and rhyme it along the way, and it's quite impressive.

I think know you need to work on your poetical expression, and developing your subject matter so it is more interesting and thought-provoking to the reader.

I really like this, too. It's a simple, sweet message of that Miracle.

My only comment is that the second line doesn't seem to flow with the rhythm as much. I keep trying to make it fit, but it's one syllable too wordy to really fit... Yet I can't think of a way to change it and keep the meaning. It works, it just feels sort of like a "bump" in the otherwise smooth poem, you know?

Of course, the more I read it to myself, the more it seems to be okay... *laughs* I don't know. It's really up to you (as always), so I'll let you decide if it should be changed or not.

Other than that, very cool! Normally I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poems, or overly-sweet religious poems, but this... This has hope and tenderness and the truth of His love, so it's cool.

Thanks, Claud. I really liked this poem and thought I would see what others thought. I'm glad that you critiqued it! That really helps. I made the changes you suggested. If you have anymore, please tell me. Writergirl

Being religious, I liked the message behind it. It's a nice poem, but now I'm going to pick it a part

The cross is a symbol of [s]the[/s] God above,
And When He gave His blood out of love.
A towering structure that reaches [s]to[/s] the sky,
A wonderful blessing; a hidden disguise.
An answer to a secret prayer,
A pleading no one knew was there.
The cross is a symbol of [s]the Lord[/s][if you changed this to "God" it would have better rhythm] above
And the amazing gift he gives of Love.

All the little adds here should make it read better.....I hope this helped.